Simon made the saucy admission in an interview with video messaging platform Skype, for which he fielded questions from fans around the world, as well as celebrity pals including Nicole, Demi Lovato and Leona Lewis.
Quizzed by the 'Boomerang' singer what he most desires that money can't buy, he said: "I'm going to say what came into my mind here ... I'm imagining [Nicole] as a huge dinner plate and I want to eat ice cream off her. Money couldn't buy it and I would do it."
The 53-year-old star, who is expecting his first child with New York socialite Lauren Silverman, may not be able to indulge in his fantasy, but he is more than content with his prized possession - his $1 million black Bugatti Veyron car.
He added: "Sometimes I just stare at it. This car, it was like a movie - when I saw it in the showroom, it was like a haunted car that was calling me towards it. Seriously, like, 'Simon, come to me!' and I kept going, 'I can't.'
"I called my friends and said, 'I was going to buy this stupid car. What do you think?' [They said], 'Buy it!' I said, 'Are you crazy?' [They said], 'No, you should buy it. You'll love it.' I went back the next day and got it."